Fun & Random Stories:
MASH IT UP! - part I -
It was a retarded afternoon as i came across Steiner a.k.a Mr. Stein and he challenged me to a game of ball, basketball. I accepted of course. We went to the court by the back of the old rundown school of Don Mills Collegiate Institute, then that made me wonder how exactly would we play ball with no light out on the court? The Steiner turned to me and said "Here we go now!" I thought to myself and then shared it with him, "You are so ****ed up, you know that." Steiner looked away and turned the lights on the court using his key on the power box. We were finally able to start our long awaiting game where I would totally pwn his sorry ass! "Let's Mash it up!" Steiner shouted out. I got the ball and as I turned to take a shot, he blocked my attempt to score. That really pissed me off. He was indeed a formidable opponent, for a 200-year old geezer. His old greasy, flabby arms stunned me every time I tried to reach for the ball. "Getting sloppy Mash!" Steiner spoke. That did it for me, I went beast and tore him apart. He shot the ball and I sore through the air and magnificently stuffed the day-lights outta him. "Get your game on Steiner!' I said. Steiner had a hard defense, but I broke-through with my length.
The score was 10 to 9, I was losing. It was game-point for Steiner and I fouled him. I psyched him out by distracting him. "Hey Steiner!" I yelled at him. "What's up Mash?" Steiner replied. I tossed a dollar in the air as he shot. He missed the angle of the net by an inch, but I took that to my advantage. "Steiner, you are so cheap." I said to myself. He checked the ball to me and I accidentally traveled as I tried to perform a 3-step finish. This time I checked the ball to him and he charged me, but I didn't call it because I wasn't a p***y, instead I stuffed his attempt to dunk. He checked to me and I took a lucky shot and so how it went in! "Lucky shot." Steiner moaned. "Like all of yours, I don't think so." I told him. It was tie game and I had the ball. I planed to dunk on him, but never dunked since the seventh grade. I knew I had to do it on him. I set the play and went with my guts. I rushed, he was waiting by the net to block me. I told him, "It's over Steiner!" He became nervous, but stood his ground. I jumped from a mad dash and I was quite high in the air. He jumped moments after I ascended. My arms reached out towards the net, almost able to touch the mesh. Steiner had no hops, I was happy. I dunked the ball fearsomely, I became victorious.
The next morning the video was on Youtube and I got over a million views, LMAO! That was an awesome, retarded afternoon indeed, and Steiner sucked by the way.
MASH IT UP! - part II -
On April Fools day, I felt that I will come across a very odd situation sometime today. I figured a friend or family member will be up to no good, but for some reason, they weren't involved in the issue I was in. This "thing" I found was the whole reason for my day to turn random
I decided to go the neighborhood park after school because I needed to release my stress from my math test result. It was pleasant due to the soft breeze, but I knew that today was April Fools day, so I couldn't afford to let down my guard. After an hour of being paranoid, I decided to go home and study for my new math test coming up tomorrow. "Life sucks so hard that it could earn a job in…" I said with anger and was also interrupted. A friend of came by my way as I walked home. Micky was his name, he was smart, literally. We were both taking the math test today and he got 98.5% and I… ya…, best not to talk about that. "Mickey dude, can tutor me for tomorrow's test, please!", I begged him. He replied, "Sure, Algorithm is soooooo easy." See what I mean by smart.
Anyways, after walking a fair amount of time, I knew he wasn't gonna fool me anytime soon. We were almost at my house, but i stepped on something that caught my eye. "The @#&k is this?" I asked myself. Mickey said, "It's a dollar what else." "If it was a dollar, then why does it have Stein's picture on the back instead of the Queen's huh smartass?", I replied. We both were puzzled by this randomness.
I decided to talk to Stein about the coin, but Mickey had me something that would have never guessed. Mickey called me, "Mash." "Ya?" I answered. "April Fools!", he shouted out with excitement. I was confused by the situation I was brought into. Then it came to me, he was in charge of this coin's deception all along. I asked him how he did it and he said, "A friend of mine knows how to make cool things like these." I turned the dollar around and underneath Stein read a very, very small print saying "Tom's Gags and Accessories."
In the end, I was fooled and understood that Mickey was one of the million people who viewed my video last week.
MASH IT UP! - part III -
The date is October 12 and it's a windy and fairly sunny afternoon. I decided to go to the mall after school in search of buy a book to use for my science project. I met up with some friends on my way to the mall and invited them. We decided to go around the outdoor mall to check out interesting things that caught our eyes. The day soon became colder and I hadn't brought my jacket along with me. "Yo guys, can I wear anyone's jacket, I'm @#%kin freezing", I asked my friends. "No", they all replied.
I was at a disadvantage that day. I was dressed for a warmer day, like the day's forecast indicated. I managed.. somehow. I started to get goosebumps and that only happens if I am really, really, reallllyyyyy cold. This surprised me, but continued to venture the mall. After 2 minutes, the sky got cloudy. I told everyone to get inside somewhere, but they ignored my suggestion. After 3 minutes, it started to drizzle, but none of us went inside. After 51 seconds, a storm poured down. We ran inside as fast as we could, to avoid the downpour and possibly some lightning. "Told you guys to go inside", I said to everyone.
Sometime later, the rain stopped and the sun came up. We still continued to look round, but I was still a little uneasy about the weather. 3 hours pasted since we began window shopping. Our last stop to my book store was coming, but another dilemma approached us. The nice and sunny sky was becoming dark again. We learned from our mistake last time and immediately went inside. The new weather totally caught us off-guard. It was snowing… IN %$&KIN OCTOBER!!? "WTF?? Snow, now!", I said expressively.
When it finally stopped snowing, a ditched my friends because I just wanted to get my book and go home, away from the random forecasts. I went to a bookstore and bought my book. Ironically, the book I longed for a while was "Canada, It's Economy, It's Environment, And It's Weather." The day was #%&king great.
MASH IT UP! - part IV -
-The cHeAp PeOpLe-
Well here I am sitting on a chair thinking what else can I express that is both random and factual. Hmmm….. okay, I got one.
Last weekend, my mom found a problem in her bath tub after she finished showering. All the water had traveled down in the basement. The water had ended up under the bath tub, which was the basement closet. When we went to open the closet, we felt that the floor was wet. The second I opened the closet, all the water that was filled up from the other showers came pouring down and soaking my mom and I from head to toe. "Mom, what the hell is this all this water?", I said. She said, "One of the pipes must be leaking and the water from upstairs is dripping in here because of it."
After we found the problem, I told my dad to call a plumber to fix the problem. "Why pay for a small leak like this when I can call a friend up who can fix it up in no time", he said confidentially. "Is he a plumber?" I asked. He replied, "No, but he will do it for free." I had no say in the matter, when my dad says something, he ends up fulfilling it.
My dad's friend came over an hour or two after my dad called him the same afternoon. He looked ready to go, but of course what you see might not be that whole truth. He with into the closet and started drilling on the ceiling to view the problem. After half the ceiling was destroyed… he saw the problem was that the pipe connecting the water current of the tub was cracked and had to replace it. My dad then give him the money to go out and buy the new part for the pipe. He soon returned with the new part, but when he went to put it on, the piece was too small to perfectly lock in between the other pipes. That was only the beginning, he then bought new screws and wrenches, paint to re-code it, even dust container to clean up the mess. It all became too expensive and very ridiculous. The guy obviously sucks at being a plumber. My dad couldn't take any more payments and told his friend to leave, THANK GOODNESS!
The next day, my took my advice I gave to him in the beginning and called up a plumber. He arrived and went to see the problem. He saw the ceiling was broken waayyy… to much. The problem was simple, the pipe has a small hole by the side and can be fixed quite easily. The man reached in his tool bag and brought out what seems to be white cement coding. He then applied some of it on the hole and it was perfectly sealed. "Wow…" my dad and I both said to each other. The plumber knew what he was doing and found a solution right away. He then cleaned up by covering the ceiling with more white cement. Everything was good as new, with seemed to be done with little to no effort.
My dad learned not to always be cheap because the simplest things could be the most expensive to cover if not approached correctly. The total from my dad's friend bill came to $339.51, and the plumber's bill was $98.25. Hmm…. I wonder what was the right approach out of the two? Pretty obvious right? Ya….
MASH IT UP! - part V -