Trail: What Garbage!
Very “occasionally”, some nagging parent would come along and scream at you to throw out the trash. And who hasn’t touched a wet garbage bag gone moist from days of gathering soggy waste?
Just the idea of wrapping your hands around a wet, smelly bag of food-gone-bad makes it that much harder. When you’re turning your head in disgust to hold out your hands ready to grab that nasty bag, that sudden satisfaction of gripping a dry bundle of plastic makes the task just that much easier to accomplish. So for all you garbage throwers, hurry for dry bags!
#1: Say "Ahhhhhhhhhhh!"
A freshly grilled hotdog, a newly bought ice-cream sandwich.. Nothing beats the first bite of any edible. There's always that greed to dig your teeth into that aroma of fatty artificial flavours. But when you're the first to take a bit out of that birthday cake. MmmmmMmmmm it's flavour to savour.
There's only about two things you can do when you're offered the first bite.
1. Open your mouth WIDE
2. Take that first bite like no tomorrow
When you're all stuffed with soft squishy food already starting to digest, manage your best thank-you-smile hoping your lips can keep that mush locked in your mouth.
You see, there no one who hasn't been touched by ruining perfection. We all do it. The first to step in fresh snow in the lawn.. the first ugly blob of paint on perfect white paper… It's almost heartwarming…
But only barely!
That first bite. !
Now THAT's something which warms the heart!
Just that two second fall makes the snooooooooooozeeeeeeee just that much better. A bed so comforting that telepathically sendsyou messages telling you to take the next few hours of your life on a dream so magnificent you wouldn’t want to wake up… Now that’s something to resist. You just slip off your slippers and get ready for the grand opening. KERWUMP! A full body slam onto your bed as your head gently sinks lower in your soft pillow. The bed covers do a little dance before they too settle nicely around you. You finally muffle a yawn as you realize that two second PLOP has brought the miracle of sleep before your lazy body. As your eyes droop, you smile as the impact of the two second paradise creates a new wave of feelings - the feeling of a soon-to-happen-slumber.
PLOP! Zzzzzzzz ….
#3: 2 4 6 8 who do we eliminate? Blackheads! Pimples!
Blackheads & pimples. No, they are not nuisances; they’re pleasure jammed into a pore! Come on, we’ve all popped them. That dying anticipation to just squeeze that muck and junk out of an incredibly tiny pore is enough to bring fingers to faces, and nails into skin. You’re squeezing, wincing and making the most twisted faces to your bathroom mirror. You’re mouth falls slightly open and maybe, if you’re lucky you start to drool. Your face is turning red as this process progresses. When you’re about to give up, thanks to pressure and physics… this rushing worm-like white mucus starts to crawl out. Here’s the part where you’re excitement peeks. You’re digging and squeezing all the while witnessing the miracle venturing mucus. OOOWWWWWWWWWw ! And the final squeeze is over. You examine your new creation and marvel at it with pride. Satisfaction is about just one word to describe that extreme feeling of forcing the unwanted out of your pores. Pure fulfilment rush over you as you begin to repeat the procedure with another blackhead.
Thank you junk in pores!
#4: Yes, it is amazing!
Do you know what’s amazing? TOES! Those 10 ( or hopefully 10) little sausages on the ends of feet. Yes, they are very amazing. Can you imagine having feet without toes? Now that would not be a pleasant sight. Having big blobs of blubber and bone all whammed into a foot shape without the toes. That would look like a funny shaped loaf of bread. So…… let us take a moment to marvel at a beautiful creation. Toes. They help keep our balance and give us 10 more nails to cut. They keep flip flops on and open-toe shoes existing. Even babies love them; it’s a fancy to stick them into their mouths.
Toes. Life’s finest recreation of the fingers.
Let us give a moment of recognition for 10 mini-sausages!
Hello internet! Life without google = horror. Life without Facebook, Youtube, MSN. Now that would be a disaster. 21st century, acknowledge the internet! Sure it kills our eyes, sure it makes procrastinating that much easier, and sure it prevents you from the great outdoors, but honestly,who can possibly live without the internet? It’s our one way ticket to instant.. Well instant everything. You can do all sorts of things; shop, bootleg movies, chat with friends, and most importantly find instant access to numerous amounts of information. Ladies and gentleman, the internet is the next best thing to the invention of the bed.
Internet, a man( and woman)’s best friend.
Magic shows! Now those make me drool… from keeping a gawking mouth open for so long. The illusions of the impractical keep the impossible possible on this planet full of logic. From nothing to something, a hat to a rabbit, or undoing a slicing of a person, these are just a few of the wonders of magic. Magic is something we can all fill our logic minds with and return back to childhood, where everything was an amusement. During the whole exhibition of the great wonders of the unfeasible, we lose ourselves to our inner child. The fascination is overwhelming. And all the while, we’re analyzing to pick at possible flaws that will expose the secrets behind these magical wonders. Gaping mouths ready to catch flies are only comparable with the eye-popping and neck straining postures that are present throughout the audience. When the final finale is at its end, the applause roars as the curtains close.
Let’s give a round of applause for magic, the wonder seemingly without a logical explanation.
#7 You know you want to click it.
Click. Click. Click. Buttons help us achieve so many things. Be it on the bus, the computer of even in front of a door, buttons show us the way. It’s the easy way out! Personally, I find buttons quite amusing. You push & POOF! Instant magic! It turns things off, turns things on, creates different letters, makes different sounds, directs to different people, and communicates with different mechanics. Be it any sort of electronic, it’s bound to have some sort of button. But even besides the unnatural, humans have buttons too. They BELLY BUTTON! A cute little button with little purpose, but still a button… so next time you see a button, press it and see what happens.
The power of a push of a finger! CLICK!
A bent piece of wire, yet they achieve so much. Paperclips: a plentiful bunch of info gathering buddies. Isn’t it weird how such simple inventions work so well? You can recreate the wheel, but paperclips just don’t get any better. Okay there are the bulldog clips, binders, and etc. But nothing beats the traditional paperclip. You slip it on, and slip it off. Simple. And when you’re done, just chuck it away or bend it into a funny shape and acknowledge the simple things in life. It’s the simple things that matter most. So go out there get organized and use a paperclip.
A wire so useful it has its own name.
When was the last time you took a step back and noticed your surroundings? And no, I don’t mean that coming bus or those pretty flowers. I mean really, who ever notices that they’re breathing and there’s air just about everywhere on earth. It takes a lot of time to recognize something that’s always there. Air. What a beautiful creation. You can last 3 days without water, 3 weeks without food, but air, oh ho! You’ll need to be a robot to last more than 3 minutes without air. It’s something so particularly awesome and yet no one stops to think “oh yeah, I’m breathing air.” But all of that is about to change. Next time you’re wandering aimlessly through a park, notice not the grass or flowers but the air. Savour it; it’s the wondrous work of air that’s keeping you standing!
Air: an everywhere thing.
#10 Squishing Things
Give your feet the reward of the century: A mush of melted ice-cream. Ready? Set. SQUISH! That's right; mush it till it's flat like a pancake.
Squishing things is about the most "awesome-est" thing that could EVER happen to dropped things. In fact it’s SO much fun that caterpillars have to face the fate of no tomorrow just outside our schools. Squeezing the living daylights out of something is the most fun anyone can have. Well, okay, let’s rephrase. Squishing the living daylights out of something preferably not living is the most fun anyone can have. An empty water bottle, an uneaten chip, mud, and the most common of all, BUG! Little feet, DO YOUR THING! Pressing down on those many different textures and feeling the edges and bumps along the bottom of your shoes is something to be excited about. There really isn’t a better way to examine something on the floor than to squish it. That soft mud from after a downpour, that slushy mix from the beginning of spring, or that poor little cookie fallen from the hands of a child. Your legs start to bend. Your weight is being lifted. You JUMP into the air … AND…..
SQUISH. SQUASH. SMUSH! And that’s the end of cookie ~ ♪